We need to talk….

I’m going to talk about my bottom. Sorry. If you’re a bit squeamish, I suggest you stop reading now, but if you want to know how I manage to ride for hour after hour, day after day without making my backside fall off, read on….

One of the things that can make or break a ride or cause someone to drop out of a long endurance cycling event is soreness “down there”. I’ve had pretty bad experiences over the past few years myself (including large pieces of skin falling off my arse in the shower after a 24 hour race) and I know others who have had equally horrendous things happen to their butt cheeks. If not worse. In fact I do know of a couple of people who have put their derrieres through much worse than I have and have suffered long time as a result. We’re not talking a bit of chafing here.

Over time, one’s bum gets used to sitting on a saddle for extended periods of time so the whole issue isn’t quite as prominent for me as it would be for someone who rides less or a beginner or whatever, but during a long ride the threat is always there so I always make sure I’ve slapped on a good dollop of cream. You know, a good handful right down my shorts.

There are loads of products on the market that can protect your buns from a battering. Some of them are cheap, some are expensive, some are minty, some pretend to smell like a mountain in the Alps, some work, some simply don’t. I’ve tried loads with varying results. You might not be surprised to hear that the most expensive ones aren’t always the most effective.

So I’m here to tell you that I smother my tush in Chamois Butt’r before I spend more than a couple of hours in the saddle. Of all the various products that I’ve used over the years, this is the one brand that lasts long enough and pretty much prevents any saddle soreness. There’s two varieties – regular and ‘Euro Style’, which basically means it’s minty fresh and packs a fresh breeze tingle on your posterior that’s sure to wake you up on a cold morning. Take it from me – this stuff will keep your rump happy for hours on end.

Compared with other brands it’s pretty good value but if you’re not convinced you can get ‘trial’ sizes for about a fiver.

(Just don’t ask if you can borrow mine, ok?)